August 3, 2018
This summer my husband and I hosted a family reunion at our family farm in East Tennessee with his extended family. My husband’s family gets together every summer at various alternating locations, but this was the first time we hosted the family reunion in Tennessee. Previously, we’ve gone to the beach, to Disney in Orlando, and frequently, we travel up to Pittsburgh, PA where his family lives.
Family reunion’s and multigenerational family vacations can be tricky – different ages and interests of cousins, grandparents, and siblings can cause some strife. Figuring out how to accommodate, feed and entertain 15 or more (in our case) family members while also creating lifelong memories is exciting but can also feel a little overwhelming. Over the years, we’ve developed some tips and best practices for planning a family reunion that we’ve used and especially utilized on our recent summer vacation. And, this most recent family trip was pure magic!
Here are our best tips – which require just a little pre-planning – to have a memorable, relaxing and magical multi-generational family vacation:
Determine a Family-Friendly Location
The beach is a wonderful family-friendly vacation spot! We love spending time together swimming in the waves, finding shells and soaking in the sun! Quiet cabins and mountain towns are also great locations for extended family get-togethers where you can take hikes and enjoy the outdoors. We are so lucky that my in-laws frequently use their timeshare points to cover our accommodation for family vacations. And we recently hosted everyone at our family cabin which was able to accommodate the whole crew comfortably. Our top priorities when looking for an ideal family vacation spot are that the place we stay has a kitchen, that it can hold our group of 15 – or at least keep everyone within relatively close proximity, and usually that the travel time is no more than a days drive or a short flight from each family’s home.
Create a Meal Plan
We typically like to vary eating out and cooking in during family reunion vacations. A few weeks before our most recent trip – where we were fairly isolated and couldn’t head out to dinner at night – I sent out a meal plan to all of the adults. We devoured hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, fresh corn on the cob, lasagnas and huge salads, slow-cooker beef sandwiches, and homemade pizzas! Each family brought secret ingredients, extra slow cookers and treats to help feed the crowd! Don’t forget about breakfast, lunch, and snacks too. A meal plan created in advance – even loosely – allows everyone to contribute and help which reduces the stress of feeding a large group.
Plan One Activity Every Day
We’ve learned that it’s nice to have one event or activity for the whole crew planned each day. Whether it’s a family kickball game or a group walk to the pier; a morning of bike riding, or a family talent show. Plan a simple activity each day that considers the abilities of each family member and age and also allows some to choose downtime (maybe they’ll be the coach or cheerleader during the family kickball game…or the photographer during the fishing excursion). Family-tip: We hosted a family talent show during our multi-generational vacation this year and it was epic! Everyone got involved – from the grandparents to the youngest kids. Each family member worked on their performances all week. It was my favorite event of the week – lots of laughter and smiles!
Plan for Downtime
Alternatively, we’ve learned that it is also essential to factor in downtime during a multi-generation family trip. Make sure if you’re spending the day at the beach or at a park, that family members have opportunities to rest or have some alone time, if needed. My middle daughter loves to be with her cousins, siblings or friends on vacation, but if she doesn’t have time alone to rest and relax, she gets overly tired and overwhelmed and the trip gets stressful fast. On our recent trip, she would escape to a bedroom to read or nap while some of the kids worked on puzzles or did crafts and the adults rocked on the porch rocking chairs (because I need my downtime too!) We also like to limit screen time on family vacations which allows for more true downtime and also more creative play amongst the kids.
Focus Activities Around the Kids (I Promise Adults will Have Fun Too)
We like to focus our activities and events around the kids which results in everyone enjoying family time together. This may seem counter-intuitive, but we’ve learned it over and again on family reunion trips. From evening fishing to arts and crafts – from sandcastle building to the – now famous – family talent show – if the kids are happy and engaged, the adults are usually happy and relaxed. And huge bonus points if the grandparents or uncles watch the kids while you have an occasional adults-only night out, or morning walk or afternoon nap!
In the end, it is abundantly clear to me that spending time together as a family creates lifelong memories, relationships, and bonds. I’ll never forget the look on my kids’ faces when their grandparents came out dressed as Sonny and Cher singing I Got You Babe at our family talent show or watching my niece catch her first fish, or my nephew win the family archery tournament. I’ll remember daily walks with my sister-in-law, all the kids piled in the back of the Ranger or competing in the awesome – and intense – cousin scavenger hunt. Swinging on the porch swing, stargazing at night and my brother-in-law’s innate ability to make the most beautiful dream catchers. And with each trip, new memories are made.
Brad
I would recommend against doing yodeling in the talent show unless you have prior yodeling experience.
John Wright
We spent a magical week at the farm with my spouse’s family. When we arrived, we noticed that my amazing sister, Sarah left a plethora of activities for us. We were super excited only to quickly learn her activities – designed for kids aged 7 to 12 – did not work as well for our crew – we had kids aged 6 months to 4 and my two kids are 12 and 14.
My lessons are this…..
1. Be flexible. Even with the best planned vacation, things change. You have to be prepared to make adjustments on the fly.
2. It’s ok to have a couple of activities planned on some days to fit various ages. For example, one day my older kids and some of the adults went white water rafting on the Ocoee River while some of the other adults took the younger kids to the Chattanooga aquarium. Additionally, my 14 year old son would disappear with another adult about 3 times per day. I knew it was an escape from the craziness of little kids. I always knew where he was – playing fishing guide to another adult in preparation for our last night fish fry.
3. You can’t control the weather. We had two rainy days which forced us to adjust our plans. Fortunately, the kids loved getting “geared up” to splash in puddles and make the best of it.
4. As the organizer of the week, you tend to also have a heavier work load. My wife and I played host and hostess to her family this week. That meant, we were “in charge.” My mom usually fills this role. When you are not in charge, you tend to not appreciate the subtlety of the person in charge until you are thrust into the role. If you are the host, be prepared to work a bit harder than everyone else, relax a bit less and have it all go unnoticed. Don’t worry…. you may not be appreciated on this trip, but you certainly will be when the roles change.
As a side note, thank you Bamma for always being the amazing host you are!